Loving someone has never been easy. But forgetting all about love is even tougher.
Today, when I sit and think through things, I end up analyzing every action of mine in the past. Those actions which seemed right at that moment seem all wrong today.

I feel if I had done things a bit differently maybe he would have loved me today. Love is not about changing for that special someone, I understand. It’s all about accepting the other person as they are. But I don’t feel so today. Even when I know that changing for him would have meant forgetting all about what I am and all about my comforts and beliefs. Today I really wish if I had changed a little earlier in the day for him, there was a chance, a hopeless little chance that he may have liked me and maybe even loved me.
Because that is all I want today. Living like this, longing to be with him each moment is makes me go crazy.

But it’s too late for it now. Yesterday is gone, and today seems hopeless without him. All that can take me through today to the future is acceptance of his decision and hers too.Blaming me for my actions in the past would not help, because deep inside I know that they weren’t wrong. It was just a matter of them not understanding me then and now.

It was a tough fight then and it’s an even tougher fight now because this time I am fighting myself - in the hope of doing the impossible – forgetting my love for him.

Day 6: 6 days and I haven't spoken to him.Saw him today after 6 days while I was coming back from office. He noticed me too, but I looked away.
It feels as if I am not myself anymore. Staying away has certainly kept me away from all the trouble but has changed my life a lot.Not going to his place anymore means not only cutting off ties with him, but also not meeting my other friends, which hurts.
I feel so lonely. All I do is keep looking at my cellphone in the hope that he would sms or call.That all would be fine soon and I would be myself again.....but all in vain. Because all is not going to be well. Atleast not the way we were before.

I miss the laughter, the smiles, the nonsense jokes......I miss life!!!

No more sacrifice

You told me not to tell him,
You told me not to be by his side,
You told me to be just friends,
You told me to just let it go by,
You told me I couldn’t cry,
You told me that I shouldn’t try,
For you thought I didn’t love him,
And it was a phase that would pass by,
For you loved him and he loved you,
And so I should sacrifice.

And so I did when you left him,
By being by his side,
Knowing he doesn’t love me,
I still continued to smile,
When he was drunk and spoke of you,
Oh never did I cry,
All I did was to be friends,
And let my feelings go by,
All I did was pray and hope,
That this phase would pass by,
For I love him and he does not,
And no more can I sacrifice.

Day 1 : It was tough not talking the usual with him. But I managed somehow.
            Then one look at his picture and I was in tears.It helped me drift to sleep though.
            The night was plagued with the same dream that has been eating my head for
            quite sometime now.  Its here to stay for a while so I might get prepared to deal with it.
            Hoping day 2 treats me better.
         
           

Am Back!!

Dear Blog,

Am back in action... with a new name, new identity.
Hope to keep u alive with the happenings of my life.

Yours ,

Lo$t $oul